Found on web- Apathy's respite.

Death simplifies everything.

I have it good. Great job, great place downtown, healthy, fit, good looking, personable etc.

I work, exercise, go home, eat, watch TV or dink on the net and go to bed.

That's about it.

LTR ended late Summer. Haven't found anyone to go on a date with since most women here make it so difficult.

My routine is exactly that.

If I died, I wouldn't be missed for very long and it wouldn't make a difference in the world. It really wouldn't.

I am NOT suicidal, just thinking out loud here.

I tend to keep myself occupied to get through the dreaded weekends.
I haven't any real friends so I don't get invites to functions or events so I take advantage of today's weather by doing things around town or shopping and trying not to be bored.
When I do things, I do them alone.
I travel alone. Eat alone, go to sporting events alone, etc.

I have TV, cable, the world wide web to pass the very quiet time with. Even video games which I never play.

This is why I realize death simplifies everything and doesn't change much. If I were to die, I wouldn't be bored and I like sleeping.
My family would get over it.

I know I won't be dying anytime soon so perhaps things will change.
Not so much for the better but for the existence.

I guess I'm lonely...........or not. Maybe just tired. That last two years were emotionally draining and it could be I just don't know where to start because life is starting over.

Just thinking out loud.